WWE Elimination Chamber 2019 preview

Buddy Murphy (c) vs. Akira Tozawa, for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship (205 Live) (Kickoff Show)

The story: After successfully defending the Cruiserweight Championship at the Royal Rumble pay-per-view, Buddy Murphy naturally needed a new challenge. Akira Tozawa became that challenge when he defeated Cedric Alexander, Lio Rush, and Humberto Carrillo is a #1 Contendership Fatal 4-Way.

Prediction: Buddy Murphy is keeping this title until at least WrestleMania. Sorry, Tozawa. 

Bobby Lashley (c) & Lio Rush vs. Finn Balor, in a Handicap match for the Intercontinental Championship (RAW)

The story: Bobby Lashley and Finn Balor are currently stuck in the whirlwind of six wrestlers (Lashley, Balor, Baron Corbin, Drew McIntyre, Braun Strowman, and… Kurt Angle, for some reason) who can only wrestle each other. Balor specifically has been gunning for Lashley’s Intercontinental Championship though, and unsurprisingly, he pinned Lashley on the RAW go-home show for Elimination Chamber—in a six-man tag match that originally started as a singles match between Balor and McIntyre and was then even restarted. (It was a very long segment on this week’s RAW.) Why this is a handicap match? No idea.

Prediction: Even though Lashley is much improved with Lio Rush as his hype man and his general weirdness, it’s easy to flat out forget he’s the Intercontinental Champion. It honestly doesn’t even matter when he’s stuck in the weird trio with McIntyre and Corbin, whose mission isn’t quite clear. (Well, McIntyre’s mission is, but it makes no sense why he would team up with Corbin then, and it also makes sense why he wouldn’t be annoyed by Lio Rush’s existence.) Plus, Lio Rush being part of the match now gives Balor a chance to win by pinning him, so it won’t actually be a loss on Lashley’s part. 

Braun Strowman vs. Baron Corbin, in a No Disqualification match (RAW)

The story: Nobody likes Baron Corbin. Especially Braun Strowman. And that’s… pretty much it. That’s been the story for months (that have seemed like years, honestly)

Prediction: Braun Strowman. When it’s against Baron Corbin, always Braun Strowman. Even when he was barely cleared to compete, Braun Strowman beat Baron Corbin. They will probably be interference by Drew McIntyre (and a post-match attack), but Braun Strowman will still win. 

Shane McMahon & The Miz (c) vs. The Usos, for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship (SmackDown)

The story: Well, Shane and Miz won the SmackDown Tag Team Championship, and now they have to go against a reputable team. What team’s more reputable—especially in WWE—than The Usos?

Prediction: There is no world in which Shane and The Miz should beat The Usos. But they are going to win because since the RAW Tag Team Championship is now held by a legitimate tag team, it’s totally fine for SmackDown to keep the titles on a joke of a team. (No offense, Miz.)  

Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Ruby Riott, for the RAW Women’s Championship (RAW)

The story: Poor Ruby Riott. She and the rest of her Squad got on Ronda Rousey’s bad side during the saga of Becky Lynch potentially nor being medically cleared to compete at WrestleMania, and while Ronda was able to embarrass and put away Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan in single competition pretty quickly. Ruby wasn’t going to go down like that, but she said she would face Ronda if it were for the RAW Women’s Championship. And now it is, so now she will. And then everyone kept talking about WrestleMania, forgetting this match is even happening.

Prediction: You know, Ruby Riott could win, setting up a title match between herself and Charlotte Flair… while also freeing up Ronda Rousey and Becky Lynch to get their WrestleMania match without the title. But would that match be the main event of WrestleMania? Possibly not, and there’s no way Ronda’s not main eventing. Sorry, Ruby—this one’s all Ronda. 

Sasha Banks & Bayley (RAW) vs. Nia Jax & Tamina (RAW) vs. The Riott Squad (Liv Morgan & Sarah Logan) (RAW) vs. Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville (SmackDown) vs. The IIconics (Billie Kay & Peyton Royce) (SmackDown) vs. Naomi & Carmella (SmackDown), in a Tag Team Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship

The story: Back in December, Vince McMahon announced the first-ever WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship, a cross-brand tag title for the women’s division. (Yes, there was a WWF Women’s Tag Team Championship back in the day, but again, that was WWF. Back in the day.) Sasha Banks and Bayley were, of course, the first team to really drive home how much they want the titles—even before the announcement—but so far, they’ve had the hardest hill to climb on the way to Elimination Chamber. Sasha, especially, has been injured before and during matches, effectively turning her tag team matches with Bayley into handicap matches for Bayley. At least the other women from RAW had to qualify to be in this match too: All the SmackDown women simply “declared” themselves for this.

Prediction: Let’s pretend WWE actually does what the people want—and what honestly makes the most sense—and Sasha and Bayley win. 

“The New” Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy, in an Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Championship (SmackDown)

The story: “The New” Daniel Bryan loves the earth and hates the “fickle” WWE Universe. Somehow he’s the bad guy. (Okay, you can say he’s the bad guy because of how sanctimonious he is about all of this, but really, he’s the bad guy because of his dick kicks and sneak attacks and muscle in the form of Rowan.) As he promised he would be champion forever, he hit with the news that he’d be defending said championship in this match, against these men. And none of them like him. At all. (Oh, and Mustafa Ali was originally supposed to be in this match, but due to injury, Kofi Kingston took his spot.)

Prediction: After that gauntlet performance on this week’s SmackDown, let Kofi Kingston be WWE Champion, you cowards. (Daniel Bryan is probably retaining though.)