From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Late Night Snark: Blue Wave Getting Bluer & Wavier Edition
"The incoming class of freshman Democrats is being called the most diverse ever. And the Republicans have also welcomed their most diverse group ever. They have old white guys, they've got young white guys, they got bald white guys, they got balding white guys, they got white guys with hair… so many different types of white guys."
---Trevor Noah
"More women won their elections and are now going to Congress than ever before in history. In response, Republicans were like, 'This is not what we meant when we said a woman's place is in the house.'"
---James Corden
"Y'know who's not enjoying last Tuesday's elections? The guy who lost: Donald Trump. Sources say, 'Stung by the midterms and nervous about Mueller, Trump has retreated into a cocoon of bitterness and resentment. Yes. Trump is ending his larval stage, and in just a few weeks he will emerge as a hideous race-baiting butterfly."
---Stephen Colbert
"Yesterday was Veterans Day. 'Thank you for your service,' said Trump to Colonel Sanders."
---Seth Meyers
"Just hours after Trump said the White House was a great place to work, his Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced his resignation. It makes sense that he's leaving now. Santa needs him to start making toys at the North Pole. "
---Jimmy Fallon
Come on down and stick your toes in the kiddie pool. We filled it with Palmolive---it softens piggies while you do blogging. Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, November 16, 2018
Note: Boy, these chemo "off" weeks race by like a runaway freight train. It's Friday already---I'm feeling pretty darn good---but on Monday I'll be back in the chair at Mercy Hospital's oncology wing, welcoming another infusion of cancer-ass-kicking liquid gold. (Session #4 out of 12.) So, schedule-wise, there will be a C&J Monday morning as usual. Tuesday we'll be off and, as we always say, we'll play Wednesday by ear but definitely show up Thursday and Friday. In my absence, tawk among yerselves. I'll give you a topic: New England is neither new nor England. Discuss. ---The Patient
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til winter: 35
Days 'til the Downtown Boise war on Christmas tree lighting: 7
Number of U.S. citizens who applied for asylum in Canada in 2017, a sixfold increase from 2016 and the most since 1994: 2,550
Estimated number of Americans who turned out for the midterms (49.2%), the first midterm with more than 100 million voters: 115.9 million
Number of previously-unknown missile development sites discovered in North Korea, just months after Trump said the country no longer posed a nuclear threat: 13
Percent chance that the Texas Board of Education, in a brief moment of sobriety, voted to put Hillary Clinton and Helen Keller back into their history classes because they freaking belong there: 100%
Box office receipts from movies based on Stan Lee's Marvel characters: $17.6 billion
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Puppy Pic of the Day: A pleasant assortment of woozle photobombs…
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CHEERS to flipping a big blue bird at Bruce. That would be Bruce Poliquin (R-ME), the NRA-loving, ACA-hating congressman from Maine's 2nd District. Poliquin is the epitome of the slimy Wall Street millionaire who enjoys all the perks of power, but runs away (sometimes straight into the women's restroom) at the slightest challenge from anyone calling him to task on his far-right views and middle-class-crushing votes. Well, thanks to Maine's first-in-the-nation use of ranked-choice voting in a federal election, a majority of Poliquin's constituents voted to toss Mr. Moneybags to the curb in favor of humble 36-year-old Iraq/Afghanistan War vet Jared Golden---the first challenger in the district to boot an incumbent since 1916:
“Mainers want a new generation of leaders who will fix our dysfunctional political system so that it serves the people first and foremost, and I’m going to do my part to give them what they deserve,” Golden said in a victory speech in Augusta. […]
Votes for [independent candidates] Tiffany Bond of Portland and educator Will Hoar of Southwest Harbor were reallocated over a five-day count by Secretary of State Matt Dunlap’s office in Augusta. That count ended Thursday, and Golden was declared the winner as a result of the ranked-choice tabulation with 50.53 percent of votes to Poliquin’s 49.47 percent. […]
“Our movement and our party is about working people,” Golden said. “It’s about health care, higher wages and Social Security. It’s about the the promises we’ve made to the working people in this country---promises I intend to keep.”
But fair warning: ME-02 is a conserva-district, and Golden, while further left than Poliquin, will be more blue dog than unabashed liberal. Exhibit A: during the campaign he needlessly vowed to vote against Nancy Pelosi for Speaker. But on the bright side, there's this: thanks to Golden's win, Sen. Susan Collins is now the only New England Republican left on Capitol Hill. We plan to fix that by rank-choicing her hiney into exile. (Should we catapult her into New Hampshire, or would that constitute cruel and unusual punishment?)
P.S. Gotta give kudos to Maine Secretary of State Matt Dunlap and his elections crew. The nation’s eyes were riveted on them as this funky new election process unfolded, and they performed with efficiency, transparency, patience and a healthy dollop of good humor. If the “As goes Maine...” saying still has relevance, the nation has an excellent template to follow.
P.P.S Gotta love this:
Honest to god, I thought I’d see pigs fly first.
CHEERS to that people-powered dude. Happy 70th birthday tomorrow to Howard Dean, the former Vermont governor (first in the nation to sign same-sex civil unions into law---a quaint milestone, but ground breaking at the time) who became the loudest 2004 presidential candidate to rail against the warmongering Bush II regime. (His 2003 speech in Sacramento remains one of the most influential barn burners in modern political history.)
Of course, we all know Governor Dean met his Waterloo when he uttered "Yeah" in Iowa at a higher volume than is allowed in polite political society. He then went on to become the chairman of the DNC, and unleashed a radical strategy that would give the Democratic party an active, robust presence in all 50 states. Howard is still fighting the good fight (along with brother Jim) via Democracy for America and his MSNBC political analyst gig, has a near-perfect attendance record at our Netroots Nation conventions, and is a proud card-carrying Kossack. So when you're pouring your first drinky bright and early tomorrow morning (may we recommend a cocktail made with pure Vermont maple syrup?), hoist it and send a happy birthday toast to ol’ Doc Dean. And you should also get together and bake him a cake. After all, YOU have the flour and YOU have the flour and YOU have the flour...!
CHEERS to thinning the heard of those pesky little pricks. No doubt about it, we got rid of some real nasty parasites recently. It’s been so gratifying to see a huge swath of those awful self-absorbed bloodsuckers, hellbent on a seemingly single-minded mission to make Americans’ lives more miserable, has just evaporated. It's amazing…and a lot more were vanquished than anyone really expected. But the heat was just too much for 'em, and they collapsed under the pressure. So I'd just like to say how thrilled I am that we've, for the time being, stopped our adversaries in their tracks. It really is historic, folks, and it’s a moment to be savored. But enough about how Maine's tick population has been decimated by three hot dry summers in a row, reducing cases of Lyme disease in the process. I also hear the Republicans took quite a beating!
CHEERS to home where the buffalo roam. Happy Birthday, Oklahoma! The "Hey, that state looks like a skillet!" state---home of 5th District Democratic red-to-blue flipper Kendra Horn---officially nabbed the 46th star on the flag 111 years ago today. Fun facts: the state animal is the buffalo, the state insect is the honey bee, and the state flower is the Oklahoma rose, which is quite lovely:
Oh, almost forgot: the state rock is "rose barite," which you'll find in the greatest abundance between state dinosaur Jim Inhofe's ears.
CHEERS to cleansing your cosmic soul. Hey, cast your eyes heavenward over the next few days and you might see some wowee-zowee fireworks in the sky. The Leonid Brezhnev meteor shower---which happens every time Earth crosses paths with Comet Tempel-Tuttle and its debris field---is entering its most Leonidiousy period starting tonight and continuing through the weekend:
This annual meteor shower is responsible for some of the most intense meteor storms in history. Sometimes, meteors fall at rates as high as 50,000 per hour.
These storms only happen rarely; viewers this year will see few meteors outshined by a bright moon. The best time to look in past years was before dawn around 3 a.m. EST (0800 GMT) on the night of the peak, according to Jane Houston Jones of NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. … According to the American Meteor Society, skywatchers can expect to see around 15 meteors per hour this year.
The Leonid meteor shower gets its name from the constellation Leo, where its meteors appear to originate. But you can look in just about any direction to enjoy the show, said NASA meteor expert Bill Cooke. If you directly face Leo, you may miss the meteors with longer tails.
As I like to say, everyone loves meteor showers because they’re beautiful, unite Americans in a delightful bonding activity, and make millions of people more curious about the universe and the wonders of science. Which explains why Republicans in Congress are always trying to introduce a constitutional amendment banning all future meteor showers.
CHEERS to TIME. On this date twenty years ago, in 1998, the magazine provided lengthy coverage of the spectacular implosion and resignation of House Speaker Newt "Hey, I've had three wives, too!" Gingrich. Margaret Carlson sums up that blissful week:
Friday was the day he died a Washington death, stripping himself of power and becoming in that instant just a guy in a suburban tract house in Marietta, Ga., carrying out the trash. We all should have seen his resignation coming when, on Tuesday night, he came out swinging at the media, blaming them for his party's shellacking.
With Nixonian petulance, he rejected suggestions that his party tanked because he had put all its eggs in Monica's basket. Well, the media charge is laughably bogus. Yet what else is there to do but grasp at scapegoats when, in the blink of an eye, the discussion moves from "Can Clinton Survive?" to whether you can?
And today isn't a federal holiday because...???
CHEERS to home vegetation. Here's some of the haps on the teevee this weekend. After Chris Hayes and Rachel tonight on MSNBC, Bill Maher talks with Garry Kasparov, Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA), Steve Schmidt, Van Jones and Duke history professor Nancy MacLean on HBO’s Real Time. New home video releases include the sleeper attack-shark actioner The Meg, and Sacha Baron Cohen's Republican-humiliating Showtime series Who Is America. The football schedule is here, the NBA schedule is here, and the NHL schedule is here. Steve Carell hosts SNL. (Preview here.) And John Oliver is always the must-watch weekend ender Sunday night at 11 on HBO’s Last Week Tonight. Other than that, a quiet weekend.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Face the Nation: Freshman congressmembers-elect Joe Neguse (D-CO), Deb Haaland (D-NM and one of two Native Americans elected to Congress), Chrissy Houlahan (D-PA) and Dan Crenshaw (R-TX); Rep. and soon-to-be House Oversight Committee chair Elijah Cummings (D-MD); Sen. Rand Paul (R-Gimmetarianville) and Joni Ernst (R-IA).
This Week: Rep. and soon-to-be House Intelligence Committee chair Adam Schiff (D-CA); Sen. Roy Blunt (R-MO); Rep.-elects Deb Haaland (D-NM), Chrissy Houlahan (D-PA), Donna Shalala (D-FL) and Lauren Underwood (D-IL).
CNN's State of the Union: Congressmembers-elect Deb Haaland (D-NM), Chrissy Houlahan (D-PA) and Dan Crenshaw (R-TX); Sen. Jeff Flake (R-AZ).
Meet the Press: Sens. Sherrod Brown (D-OH) and Lindsey Graham (R-Bumpkin County).
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: It’s not a question of if Chris Wallace will be gentle during Donald Trump’s first appearance on Fox News Sunday, but how gentle he’ll be. (Hint: instead of note cards, he’s writing his questions down on cotton balls.)
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: November 16, 2008
CHEERS to going solo. President-elect Barack Obama's career as a Senator officially comes to an end Sunday. Reason: he says he wants to spend more time with his family. All 304 million of us.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to toying around. Enough politics…it's playtime! Lost in all the hubbub over the elections, Trump meltdowns, and other assorted headline stealers is the biggest story of the month. I'm speaking, of course, about the trio of 2018 inductees into the National Toy Hall of Fame. I spent hundreds of hours on the first, hundreds of quarters on the second, and hundreds of shakes on the third:
Uno An Ohio barbershop owner named Merle Robbins dreamed up Uno while playing cards with his family. The new game---a shedding game like crazy eights, where players seek to empty their hand---proved to be simple enough for young children and varied enough for adults to enjoy. Robbins and his family produced 5,000 decks of Uno and pitched it across the United States before a manufacturer bought the rights to it.
Pinball Pinball traces its roots to the 18th-century French table game called bagatelle. Modern, coin-operated pinball machines originated in 1931, and manufacturers added new features over the next two decades. Flippers transitioned the game from one of chance (and maligned by some as a form of gambling) to a game of skill.
Magic 8 Ball Introduced in 1946, the Magic 8 Ball allows users to flirt harmlessly with fortune-telling. The toy became an icon of popular culture, making its first television appearance on the Dick Van Dyke Show in the 1960s, and showing up later on hit series such as Friends and The Simpsons.
Meanwhile, I have a leading candidate for the 2018 Toy Hall of Shame: the "MAGA Build the Wall Building Blocks Play Set." Yeah, it's a thing (and, no, it’s not related at all to Lego):
Should we tell 'em that Mexico is already selling the "Build the Tunnel Under the MAGA Build the Wall Building Blocks Play Set" set? Nah, let’s not---I'd hate to spoil the surprise.
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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