Here are your new college football archetypes for 2018

The New Baker Mayfield: Will Grier, West Virginia

If you miss the unrestrained self-assurance of Mayfield, here is your replacement: a Florida transfer who was suspended after testing positive for a banned substance, who may or may not have an overbearing father, and who is already focused on winning the Heisman Trophy. Grier and Mayfield even play (and look) a little bit alike. If Grier can consistently make throws like this, then he might actually become the next iconoclastic Heisman quarterback.

The New Saquon Barkley: J.K. Dobbins, Ohio State

Listen, no one is going to match Barkley’s contortions, not to mention his penchant for pole-vaulting defenders, unless a "Westworld" robot iteration of Barry Sanders returns for another season at Oklahoma State. However, among all the gifted running backs in America, Dobbins may not be the best quite yet — that’s probably Stanford’s Bryce Love (more on him in a minute) or Wisconsin’s Jonathan Taylor — but he could be the one with the greatest potential for rampant freakishness.

The New Bradley Chubb: Ed Oliver, Houston

If you are a fan of defensive line play — and who isn’t except for all those oafish guards and tackles, am I right? — is this the season for you. Chubb is gone from NC State to the Denver Broncos, but an argument can be made that eight of the top 10 players in college football are defensive linemen. Oliver is the best of that group, because what are you supposed to do about a guy who seems impervious to blocks?

The New Dante Pettis: Tony Pollard, Memphis

The most exciting return man in the recent college football history graduated to Sunday football, but fear not, Pettis acolytes — allow us to introduce you to this Pollard fellow, who has the same ability to revive what may be a dying art form.

The New Derwin James: Jaquan Johnson, Miami

James was the prototype of the physical, hard-hitting, versatile safety during his two full seasons at Florida State, a guy who was even capable of chasing down Louisville’s Lamar Jackson (and pity the poor receiver who incurred his wrath). But we can keep this one in-state, because Johnson is the kind of talent who can make a sliding interception on one play, force a fumble on the next and blow up the option the next time around.

The New Roquan Smith: The Two Devins

The Georgia linebacker who was all over the place during last year’s College Football Playoff is now a Chicago Bear, but here are two dudes who both happened to be named Devin and can satisfy your relentless linebacker craving. There’s Michigan’s Devin Bush, who’s already being referred to by YouTube-highlight hyperbolists as “The Most Terrifying Player in College Football,” and there’s LSU’s Devin White, who is merely billed as “The Fastest Linebacker in the Country.” Your call.

The New Joel Lanning: Malcolm Perry, Navy

OK, we’ll concede that it’s not quite as dramatic as Lanning’s move from quarterback to linebacker last season for Iowa State, but Perry shifted to slotback for Navy after being buried deep on the depth chart. He was such a dynamic athlete that he took over as the starting quarterback for Navy’s final four games, and yet he threw precisely two passes last season — one was a touchdown and one was an interception. Granted, Navy throws the football with the regularity of a solar eclipse, but it’ll be kind of wild to see what happens when Perry actually does let one fly.

The New Bryce Love: Bryce Love, Stanford

Maybe you’ve forgotten that the other best running back in the country last season decided to follow up on a 2,000-yard season by coming back for another one as a senior. This is good for all of us, because Love gained a good deal of those yards last season while essentially running on one leg. Therefore, let us set the bar high and proclaim that anything less than 3,000 yards and a Heisman Trophy will be considered an utter disappointment.