GOP heads into midterms with zero policy goals other than targeting Pelosi, refugees, and media
If voters have known one thing for sure about Republicans ever since 2010, it's that once they had the power to do so, they would absolutely repeal the Affordable Care Act (i.e. Obamacare). Except that over the three election cycles in which they made that pledge repeatedly and resolutely (“root and branch!”), they never bothered hashing out exactly how they would accomplish that goal legislatively. In essence, the art of governing was just a little too tedious and sophisticated—campaigning on empty promises was far more fun.
But Republicans learned a valuable lesson after they won in 2016 and were forced to try their hand at governance: they mostly suck at it. The one thing they could agree on was giving away money to rich people at the expense of the nation's poor and middle class. Done! But solving health care and the nation's «broken» immigration system (which they all say is tremendously critical)—they're not offering any solutions on those two issues this time around. Nope, they're not going to get caught in that trap again. Republicans, after all, are problem finders and crisis creators. Solutions just aren't their cup of tea.
Which is why their 2018 platform is policy-free. Instead of getting hung up on providing a vision for how they'll legislate, their agenda is really just more of a bitch session, of sorts. First off, those desperate migrant refugees are a real problem, they say, even though immigration is at historic lows (including apprehensions at the Southwest border) and unfilled job openings in the U.S. are at an all-time high, threatening the economy's expansion.
So what's Trump going to do about that non-problem? Send the military to the border. To do what? To apprehend the migrants, of course. But refugees surrender to authorities at the border and then seek asylum. Oh. Well, then, he'll «Build the wall!» Okay, he ran on that in 2016, why didn't he do it? Cuz he was saving it for 2018—a silver bullet in case everything we did once we were in power totally repelled the electorate. Smart.
Also, Democratic women—we don't like 'em. Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, lock 'em up! They're a real problem. What if you can't lock 'em up? Due process, and all that? Screw that, due process is for losers, sexual assaulters, and despotic murderers. Women don't get due process, only men do. Cool.
Oh, and by the by, the media are the enemy of the people. We're gonna body slam every damn one of 'em. Rep. Greg Gianforte will be leading a workshop on it!
So what are your policy goals if you maintain control of Congress after the midterms?
Build the wall! Lock her up!* And body slams! (*Except for those first two. We don't actually want to accomplish those—we need 'em for 2020.)
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